Ode to Stress Relievers
A Teenager’s Guide to Relieving Stress:
#1. Find the closest person to blab too
The more you talk the better it will be right? Get it out of your system? Well after talking to just about every single friend of yours, family members, random strangers, and maybe even the waitress that serves you lunch at your favorite restaurant everyday, you still dont feel any better.
#2. Try talking to a Professional
Hey, it works in most the movies, why not IRL (in real life) ?
#3. Decide you probably need to blow off some steam physically instead.
Run around like a child in park. Jump off a small bridge. Get a adrenaline high by taking a run around the block. Play weird games. Still feel dissatisfied.
#4. Grab a random make out buddy.
You thought this was the best idea yet.
You’re random make-out buddy happens to also have a significant other they forgot to mention. Feel like shit for 2 weeks.
#6. Video game + Monster + Cheetos Binge
You’re young, you’re body can handle it, just not the overwhelming pounds of homework, family drama, and friend catastrophes. When life gets tough, the teenagers get procrastinating.
#7. Decide to make changes about yourself.
Make quirky habits, like always folding your money in your wallet a certain way, or rearranging every salt and pepper shaker you come into contact with in the perfect way on that table.
#8. Pretend like everything’s alright
Everyone else is doing it.
#9. Try something new
Maybe drugs, maybe smoking, maybe a new video game, or maybe a scary combination of Greek yogurt and old crystallized honey bits with graham crackers.
#10. Try to forget you were stressed
Tell yourself many lies. Like : “I am the happiest person on the planet!” , “I love this song!” , “Best week ever!” , “School isn’t so bad.” , “I bet my mom isn’t the only women who will love me.”, “Someday I’ll find my prince.”
#11. Wonder why you started this
Writing stuff on crumpled lined paper titled “Dear diary” isn’t making life easier. Re-watching old ’80’s films is also probably going to give you some type of eye cancer or something bad. Definitely something bad.
#12. Do random Google searches.
This will most definitely make you think about other things. But don’t visit WebM.D., You’ll probably end up being a hypochondriac and then in turn develop extreme germophobia, which will inevitably lead to agoraphobia, says WebM.D. anyways.
#13. Fuck it.
Give up the search and buckle down. Or not.
Posted on March 28, 2014, in Internet Speeches, Lists, Random Subject That Applies To My Life, School and tagged Cheetos, Cinderella, Disney, gaming, google, Lies, Love, Monster, Stress, video games, xbox, XBox live. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.