The Happiness of meeting again after a long time
There are lots of ways that people can be separated. Whether “separate” meaning ending of a relationship, friendship, or bond; or meaning separated by distance and time rather than breaking off that relationship, being apart is painful.
I’ve had friends all over the world, some which I’ve been able to see yearly or more and others that I have never seen.
I have friends I’ve grown up with that became the closest and most important people in my life graduate high school and go far away for college. It hurt to be apart from them. It hurt to lose the physical connection we had and to lose the fulfilling meetings we used to have regularly. But we had retrouvailles when we were finally able to get together during summer, winter, and spring breaks.
Separation changes relationships and changes people. Communication and visiting become more special, but also more difficult. Talking to one another can become a chore, or become monotonous because the same questions are always being asked. “How was your day?” “What did you do?” “How is everyone back home?” “How is school?” “What are your classes like?”‘How was work?”. After a while it feels like there is nothing more to say over the phone or via text.
It feels like the distance between the two of you is prying a wedge between you even more than you thought it would.
It’s costly on everyone in many ways. Seeing friends means gas money, spending money for activities, and food. Seeing friends means a plane ticket home or to them, expenses of travel and the like.
Being apart from friends means you might make new friends and lose those friends, or the flux of new friends is whittled down to the ones that you actually like talking to you, rather than the ones which are just convenient to converse with. The difference between a study buddy and a real pal. It costs time and effort to be happy, to stay happy, and to preserve the happiness that you have with those you love most in the world.
The hardest part about these expenses, is making sure they are worth it, and remain worth it.
Something being worth your time is far from something which is just convenient. Although, convenience does assist in keeping things that are worth your time.
Convenience is having a neighbor that you can barrow things from politely and they have the same relationship with you, but you wouldn’t invite them over for a heart-to-heart about your dying uncle and the struggles of cancer in your family.
The kind of person you invite over for that serious conversation who thinks you are worth their time is the friend that maybe it isn’t all that convenient for them to see you. That’s why it is special when you see each other, because when you do, both of you have planned that chat, that cup of tea or coffee, that special meeting spot, or the favorite seats in your living room. The date’s been on your calendar and it has been something the two of you texted about for weeks. Making sure both could be there around the same time, prepared and with lots to say.
But also with this best friend, you don’t always need something to talk about. Silence can convey what you need it to as well. Because sometimes all you can say is “I’m so glad you are here,” with me because I need you and you are worth it and I love being with you because I love you.
And you know they are thinking the same thing and don’t need to say it.
Harmony in the those moments of retrouvailles.
I wrote in my thought journal last night, and saw a paragraph i wrote about drawing an engagement ring with a pen on my finger in loving memory of my pathetically crushed thumb ring, that is now on wearable because it is malformed. I got it at Walmart, so I guess it was destined to be hurt.
I went Harajuku this morning. Orange and pink bloomers and all. I even added to my giant pony-tails a bunch of bows and clips. I look really rediculous but I like it. YES I DO! (only rockin roll) but I like it.
Well it was my x-best friends birthday. The reason I say x is because she refuses to let me come to her birthday party. Ha. Should I care? She says that she’ll bring me and my two other besties to the mall with her….I wonder how that will turn out. I gave her a really awesome card. I couldn’t even tell if she read it or just opened it up and threw it away. That was $3!! What a waste.
I just mailed my friend a card that was wicked totally awesome!!! With a cute penguin and all. Me like penguin hugs.
This morning, at 12:23 AM I was talking to my cyber brother Dean. He finally got a profile picture that suits him. I was very proud. We creeped on each other for a half an hour. Going back and forth like so: “I see you through your window.” -Dean “In my navy jumper?” -me “It looks good on you” -dean “I’m sure. I see you through your window.” -me “What am i wearing?” Dean “A t-shirt and jeans.” -Me. “Nope.” dean. “Pj’s?” -Me. “I’m all natural underwear!” Dean…. “I wish i could say the same thing you said to my jumper, but i just cant.” -me. “It really does suit you though.” Dean. “Yeah i have to go to bed now..” Me.”Well Good night sister.” Dean. “Good night brother.” -me.
And thats how it all went down.
I’m going to send this link to him now. He’s been exposed! (evil laughter)